This is my summer beach song while hunting cougars at the bar. Or, being hunted by cougars at the bar.
Either way, a 34 year old cougar dragged me out of the bar a week ago. I woke up on her couch, pissed my pants, and raided her fridge at 7am before doing the walk of shame, soaking wet and without a house key to get into my own place.
Good thing my roommates were just going to bed themselves, or I’d have had to sleep outside in my wet clothes for a few hours…or strip down to my boxers and pass out on the beach and hope the seagulls don’t peck my pecker.
I enjoyed it.
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