Miranda wasn’t that good at playing Madden 2012. In fact, she was downright awful.
But Miranda, my friends Mom, challenged us to a round, and if she won, we had to buy her a case of Budweiser.
If we won, she bought us beer for the strip club that’s BYOB and she dropped us off.
Considering the fact that she was already drunk, she didn’t want to drive, so she offered to pay for a cab. Then she didn’t want to pay for a cab, so she thought “how will I ever beat the number one Rams fan at Madden 2012? I’ll show him my tatas!”
Little did she know she didn’t have knockers. She had bags of milk in a plastic bag, hanging on rusty nails in the loose drywall. Runny eggs on a thumbtack. Southside sliders. Pancake tater tots, except she has a whole bag of taters. Did this girl NOT EVER WEAR A BRA ONCE IN HER LIFE? How the hell do you get your nipples to sag all the way down there? This picture is so gross. She can stick her nips in her belly button or lady part if she wants to. I want to throw up right now.
We still beat her in Madden 2012, and stayed nearly seven hours at the strip club, because the first few hours got the sight of her nasty tatas out of our head. Then the next few hours we actually had fun.
GIRLS WEAR YOUR F*CKING BRAS! THIS SH*T IS DISGUSTING!
THIS IS NOT HOW YOU WIN AT MADDEN 2012!
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