Thank you Discovery Channel for helping me discover the cure to my ugly, slow, outbreak ridiculed, 30 less brain cells then average, dumb as a brick life. Now with Energy Blaster 3000, I can cure everything that’s wrong with me. In fact, I even cured homelessness on a bum down at the boulevard last night. This dude used to be a homeless prostitute outside the Lemon Club, but he drank one Energy Blaster 3000 and now he’s a millionaire with a butler and a personal driver. He’s even going to star in an episode of Lifestyles of the Rich and Shameless.
Again. I made it all up.
Do you ever believe anything I say? No. Ha. Cool. I hope you at least enjoy the sarcasm.
Now time to go smoke some medicinal crack aka Energy Blaster 3000!
ps – you all know 5 hour energy drinks are the dumbest thing ever created besides the Suck Cut from Wayne’s World, right? And you do know that it contains about the same caffeine level as a single cup of coffee? Right? This crap I didn’t make up. 5 Hour Energy is a waste of time. Energy Blaster 3000 did not pay me to say that.
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