It's the end of the world as we know it...
First
And this is why we can’t have nice things
My little buddy the Happy Hippo decides that drinking coffee and eating laxatives on Family Day at the zoo is a great idea as he explodes his butt all over the place. It's pretty nasty, so make sure you eat a nice meal and drink chocolate milk as you watch this cute animal video from the zoo. And stop writing
posted by: jack in Videos
Hi. That’s a dirtbike and you should move.
Sometimes you just have to stand there and take it like a girl. A big, dumb, idiot, brainless, girl. I'm sorry, did that offend the smart girls out there? My bad - it's just that the girl in the dirt bike video is probably the biggest moron I've seen all month, and that's a full 20 days up to this
posted by: jack in Videos
Name something you put in your mouth and don’t swallow?
Steve Harvey is about to pee his pants on the set of Family Feud when a pastors wife, inadvertently, admits on TV that she puts sperm in her mouth. She didn't verify who the sperm belonged too, but Steve Harvey went into conniptions.
posted by: jack in Videos
Human Centipede 2 Trailer
F this. It’s a bad movie about a bad movie. Here’s a great idea – take the The first Human Centipede movie, which was terrible, and make a movie about it. Then make the main character an old naked Hobbit and you’ve got yourself another banned movie in the UK that will only appeal to [...]
posted by: jack in Videos
The Worst New York Attackist Ever
Some dummy in Brooklyn’s Park Slope area tried r4ping a screaming girl late at night, in front of someone’s home, and experienced an EPIC FAIL. First of all, she looks fat. So who wants to sleep with her anyway? No one but the loser failed r4pist of course. Second, she’s clearly screaming and you do [...]
posted by: jack in Videos
Jersey Shore + Scary Snowman Prank = Epic Fail!
If you want to get punched in the face, then dress up as a snowman, hang out on the WildWood Boardwalk, and wait for some heavy metal Dad to bring his suckerfaced kid up to your snowman costume, then scare them, then brace your face for the impact of a roundhouse punch. First – what [...]
posted by: jack in Videos
Russian Woman go Pee Pee, and Cute Polar Bear attacks!
Wait for it…Wait for it…BAM! Russian woman you just got knocked the f*ck out! This is like Kimbo Slice dropping a bomb on a dummy in a backyard brawl. Like Mike Tyson hammering a hay-maker in the first round. Like Ali being so fast, that he hits a light switch and is in bed before [...]
posted by: jack in Videos
Chris Johnson holdout is over! Buy some new grills ya freak!
Chris Johnson signed a four year $53.5 million contract extension with the Tennessee Titans. I was angry with him for a while because I drafted him first in my Fantasy Football league, and if he held out for even a single game, I was going to insult him by trading him for Joe Webb of [...]
posted by: jack in Pics
Steven Seagal brings SWAT tank to kill Roosters!
And the first thing I think of, which is not one of Steven Seagal’s karate movies, but a memorable quote from 40 Year Old Virgin – is “You know how I know you’re gay?” Here’s what happened. Steven Seagal arrived with a SWAT team to the house of some guy named Jesus Sanchez Llovera because [...]
posted by: jack in Pics
Dancing with the Stars Cast List with Nancy Grace? GTFO!
First of all, I don’t even watch Dancing with the Stars. I saw it once for about two minutes and decided that the show was stupid, it sucked, and it had absolute no point. Just like Rosie O’donnell on a diet – it’s completely pointless. Second of all, my first of all statement is true. [...]
posted by: jack in Videos
Using XBox to prove the Nigerian Email Scam worked!
Does anyone else play video gmes on Xbox Live? If so, then you’d recognize this screenshot from one of the Halo games. I thought it was cool that there were 88,888 players online at the same time. I also found it interesting that one single person in Africa was playing Halo on Xbox Live. I [...]
posted by: jack in Blog
I want to punch this dog square in the dick
First of all, I invented the tickle monster. It’s something I came up with 14 years ago when my one year old sister was just learning to laugh. Second. I want to bang the blond tickling in this dumb dog video. Third. You guessed it. I want to punch that stupid dog right in the [...]
posted by: jack in Videos
Harry Potter’s new ending and other Movie Nonsense
Making a more meaningful fake endings to a fake unbelievable movie only makes the movie better. This opens Pandora’s box on how other movies should have ended. I got a whole list of fake movie endings in my head. In fact, I wish I was an animator because then I could create my own awesome [...]
posted by: jack in Videos
How Hot Girls waste time at super bass Car shows
This bass video is an epic fail because the girls hair does all the shaking and vibrating. I could care less about your stupid over expensive bass system in your car because that only means you spent a ton of money on something 100% useless and idiotic. I want to know why you’re shaking this [...]
posted by: jack in Videos
Homeless guitarist meets a tourist
What happens on the streets, stays on the streets. You know how I can tell these guys are white – they can’t fight. Then again, you ever see a black guy fight? It looks the same except with no guitar. If you’re not a trained fighter, which I am (with words), then you will always [...]
posted by: jack in Videos
MC Hammer Time Flash Mob – Can’t Touch This
Flash mobs are awesome when they’re done right. MC Hammer – Can’t Touch This is one of the coolest flash mob videos. It ranks high up there with the Micheal Jackson flash mob videos. Let me tell you the benefits of the Hammer Time video…first, sales for some random costume pants company sky rocketed on [...]
posted by: jack in Videos
Stephen Hawking vs Einstein – Epic Rap Battle of History
One of the coolest Epic Rap Battle of History video I’ve seen in about four hours. No lie – the beat is dope like the guy on the corner, the rhymes are fresh like a garden salad from Denny’s, and it’s an overwhelming experience to have listened to this epic song. I even LOLIRL, which [...]
posted by: jack in Videos
excuse me sir, your phone is vibrating
This is what happens when your friends call too much and you don’t answer on the first ring. I wonder if Fergie and friends tried collecting royalties on this video? If you were Fergie, would you try to collect royalties on this (when you’re not peeing your pants of course)? Do you think playing this [...]
posted by: jack in Videos
Epic Whole Foods resignation letter
This is all quoted from another website, but it’s the same exact epic Whole Foods resignation letter floating around the net, that every other website has clearly shown, but of course you see it here first 300th.! “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” Dear Whole Foods [...]
posted by: jack in Blog
Will the real Casey Anthony please stand up?
This is proof that 90% of the people on the planet have a borderline retarded IQ score. First of all, Casey Anthony is innocent because the lawyers could only prove she knew how to party and act like a douchebag. The prosecution couldn’t figure out how to prove her of being guilty of murdering a [...]
posted by: jack in Pics