voting priorities for americans on election day 2011

I thought I’ve seen it all. I don’t know what to call this. I am offended that she has more views then my entire YouTube channel. Come to think of it, LemonParty gets me turned on in comparison to this, and I don’t even like dudes that much. So you can kinda guess how bad [...]

Wowsers. Holy lard Batman. Fat guy can’t even get his neck off the floor. He looks like an obese Wolverine who hasn’t seen the sun in years and spent the last five years carving donuts with his razor claws. He’s the Krispy Kreme swimsuit model in the mens calendar for women. There’s actually a guy [...]

What happens on the streets, stays on the streets. You know how I can tell these guys are white – they can’t fight. Then again, you ever see a black guy fight? It looks the same except with no guitar. If you’re not a trained fighter, which I am (with words), then you will always [...]

Is hot Katy Perry still in the building. If not, can you go get her? She really needs to see this. I think this guy is now the number one fan in front of Keenan Cahill on account of him performing his song in a crowded public bus. I may have to vote Bus Guy’s [...]

Sh*t just got real in Tottenham, London. Buildings burning down, citizens throwing things at police, people getting arrested, people breaking store front windows, police and citizens both getting injured. It’s mass chaos over there! London needs to let the army loose and put the city back in control, show the hooligans where their place is, [...]

She has the best younger brother ever. He seriously instigates the heck out of her and gives us the best possible commentary.  This is what siblings are really for, to make you go nuts every chance they can when you’re getting lectured by a parent. Sibling power at it’s finest. This guy needs an award! [...]

I came downstairs for breakfast and all I got was a planked table. Hugh Hefner needs to up his degree of difficulty and plank on that chandelier or the muff burger of an early 90′s model. Planking on tables is what bored people do at the morgue, but even they have a hot chick under [...]

Rhianna hanging out barely dressed in a weird costume during the Kadooment Day Carnival celebration. Not sure what that is, or where it is, but it looks like Rhianna’s surrounded by hoochie mama’s and she needs to get back to the USA ASAP. She can come to my house and wear barely anything at all [...]

I bet you thought she she was removed for being fat or black! YOU RACIST!! Lakeysha Beard sat in the quiet car of an Amtrak train and thought it was ok to talk on her cell phone for 16 hours about nothing. Passengers expressed their disgust and by asking her to be quiet in the [...]

Jimmy Kimmel hosted the roast of Pam Anderson. Every five minutes I was reminded about how Tommy Lee’s cocknballs resembled an elephant trunk, Courtney Love is a violent drug abused crackhead whore, Andy Dick likes dick, Bea Arthur has a penis, and Lisa Lampanelli is probably the fattest, ugliest, least funny girl who sounds like [...]

Much bigger than your average man. Only thing to stop the Energizer Bunny. Rosie Odonnell spawn. He likes it on the inside. Moutain Dew is a hell of a drug. Don’t steal her f*cking donuts ever again. She really needs to wear shoes, but Reebok Pump high tops don’t fit on the cankles. That bracelet [...]