You know how I know you don’t ever get laid, even though you have a rocking bed? You still yell “hi mom” in your YouTube videos, which means you’re living at home in your parents guest room or the bedroom you grew up in, and you’re 30 years old. There is no way the guy [...]

Will there ever be a day when people wake up and realize that the mullet hairstyle went out 30 years ago? I doubt it, because if they did, then another terrible hairstyle would return to fashion. Imagine the perm and the 80s wave made a debut along with the mushroom headed bowl cut? That would [...]

Video clip of Hurricane Irene in the Bahamas. It looks windy and rainy, but doesn’t look scary. What’s scary is the thought of fat Rosie O’donnell naked (epic projectile vomit). I heard she ate some Krispy Kreme donuts and got off the couch, which is what caused the earthquake in Virginia this week. Hurricane Irene [...]

What happens when you wake up one day and realize that you don’t like hot girls? You turn into a homosexual and open a Youtube account in which you violate it everyday by posting the absolute worst cover songs on the Internet. I couldn’t watch more then 11 seconds of this before I actually began [...]

Oh hey kitty, would you like some fish for dinner? How about some milk for your lactose intolerant little kitty belly? Hello? Hello? Wake up kitty!

This week I’m going to the dentist, just after watching the movie Teeth. Don’t fear, there are no teeth in my vagina, so it’s not that type of dentist. I haven’t been there in years, so apparently I need it. I lied. I believe I visited the grand ol cotton candy smelling, laughing gas induced, [...]