Redband trailer for 21 Jump Street with Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum.

First of all, I don’t even watch Dancing with the Stars. I saw it once for about two minutes and decided that the show was stupid, it sucked, and it had absolute no point. Just like Rosie O’donnell on a diet – it’s completely pointless. Second of all, my first of all statement is true. [...]

Making a more meaningful fake endings to a fake unbelievable movie only makes the movie better. This opens Pandora’s box on how other movies should have ended. I got a whole list of fake movie endings in my head. In fact, I wish I was an animator because then I could create my own awesome [...]

Hello there. My name is Mr. Bigglesworth. I like to go to concerts, parties, and long walks on the beach. I like the long walks on the beach the best because I don’t have to wear a shirt. But that does not matter, because I don’t have to wear a shirt anywhere if I don’t [...]

Michelle Bachman just wished Elvis happy birthday, except, today is the day he died. Listen to the audience in the video as they groan like the political apocalypse is under way. The real Dooms Day will officially be during the 2012 Presidential Election if she’s elected, because I am pretty sure people will raid the [...]

Gus the dog brings the pool inside because he doesn’t want it to get rained on or used by racoons. I wish the door was open more and the dog got to swim inside. Makes me wonder though, why haven’t dogs evolved and learned how to finally open doors? It makes me think that the [...]

Apparently you can put a giant office chip clip on a cats neck and they’ll lay there while you do whatever you want to it. Looks like we’re gonna have to field test this with women at the bar this weekend. This seems less illegal then roofies and less painful then a taser. Wish us [...]

In 1978, 900 selfish a$$holes people from Jim Jone’s People’s Temple drank cyanide laced grape punch and killed themselves. In 2011, a Hacienda in South Bend, IND, posted a billboard joking about the incident and 900 more a$$holes locals cried about it. Apparently 900 dumb a$$holes people killed themselves, because not a single brainwashed a$$hole [...]

This week I’m going to the dentist, just after watching the movie Teeth. Don’t fear, there are no teeth in my vagina, so it’s not that type of dentist. I haven’t been there in years, so apparently I need it. I lied. I believe I visited the grand ol cotton candy smelling, laughing gas induced, [...]