It's the end of the world as we know it...
dog
How people really vote on Election Day.
voting priorities for americans on election day 2011
posted by: jack in Blog
And this is why we can’t have nice things
My little buddy the Happy Hippo decides that drinking coffee and eating laxatives on Family Day at the zoo is a great idea as he explodes his butt all over the place. It's pretty nasty, so make sure you eat a nice meal and drink chocolate milk as you watch this cute animal video from the zoo. And stop writing
posted by: jack in Videos
Obama Heckler Tossed, Ugly Jacket Joke Ensues
Let’s talk about President Obama, the heckler, and the awful attempt at comedic relief. I’ll use a checklist so it’s streamlined and seems official, kinda like that time you thought you accomplished something important at work when the boss asked if anyone had any suggestions on how to improve the conditions of the company, and [...]
posted by: jack in Videos
8 year olds in a cage? Oh wait, it’s just ultimate fighting. Duh.
Looks like the pervs of the world will be upset when they get to Crankers and see that “8 year old boys in a cage” are just some ultimate fighter fans pushing their kids into psychoanalyzed beat downs? “Cmon son, get in there and make dad proud!” Even though dad is a pansy who won’t [...]
posted by: jack in Videos
Hey Dad, WTF we gonna do with this? I dunno son, Photoshop it.
I have no idea what that weird alien looking Pinata is. I don’t know where it came from. I woke up and it was in my garage. The next thing I know, the neighbors dog is humping it ridiculously, and I had to pry the dog from the alien pinata. I don’t like when dogs [...]
posted by: jack in Pics
Steven Seagal brings SWAT tank to kill Roosters!
And the first thing I think of, which is not one of Steven Seagal’s karate movies, but a memorable quote from 40 Year Old Virgin – is “You know how I know you’re gay?” Here’s what happened. Steven Seagal arrived with a SWAT team to the house of some guy named Jesus Sanchez Llovera because [...]
posted by: jack in Pics
Hipsters. You guys look like a bunch of homeless idiots.
Earth to hipsters! Earth to hipsters! Can one of you read this and reply so that I can understand your terrible movement? I just don’t get it. You hipsters pride yourself on terrible clothes, dirty hair, and unkempt facial hair. You enjoy drinking terrible beer. You look like homeless gay guys who failed to pick [...]
posted by: jack in Pics
Looks like someone on FaceBook loves their dog!
It’s great to know that all dog owners seriously love their pets. How could you not love this cute little dog in the picture. I’ll tell you how. With a shovel. I would hate this dog too. In fact, the dog grins at you every day because it pooped and peed somewhere in the house, [...]
posted by: jack in Videos
I didn’t want to post this, but girls like cute dog videos.
Hey guys, I’m really sorry I had to post this cute dog video, but I have to please the women sometimes. I know you’re all into the cool funny videos and things that don’t mention the word cute unless its “cute girls” but sometimes you have to give some to take some. And I want [...]
posted by: jack in Videos
I want to punch this dog square in the dick
First of all, I invented the tickle monster. It’s something I came up with 14 years ago when my one year old sister was just learning to laugh. Second. I want to bang the blond tickling in this dumb dog video. Third. You guessed it. I want to punch that stupid dog right in the [...]
posted by: jack in Videos
Candidate for Best Singer in the whole darn Universe
This Asian girl singing in the weird video has a set of pipes on her that only Michelle Bachman can possibly conquer. Yes I mentioned Michelle Bachman’s corndog experience in a completely unrelated video involving an Asian girl who is about to make you run and sign up for America’s Got Talent and American Idol [...]
posted by: jack in Videos
This really happened and I am so glad it did.
Is hot Katy Perry still in the building. If not, can you go get her? She really needs to see this. I think this guy is now the number one fan in front of Keenan Cahill on account of him performing his song in a crowded public bus. I may have to vote Bus Guy’s [...]
posted by: jack in Videos
Here I stand, frozen in time, like an Iceberg
Hello there. My name is Mr. Bigglesworth. I like to go to concerts, parties, and long walks on the beach. I like the long walks on the beach the best because I don’t have to wear a shirt. But that does not matter, because I don’t have to wear a shirt anywhere if I don’t [...]
posted by: jack in Pics
Michelle Bachman sure knows a lot about Elvis!
Michelle Bachman just wished Elvis happy birthday, except, today is the day he died. Listen to the audience in the video as they groan like the political apocalypse is under way. The real Dooms Day will officially be during the 2012 Presidential Election if she’s elected, because I am pretty sure people will raid the [...]
posted by: jack in Pics
Michelle Bachman long throats a corndog
Michelle Bachman at the Iowa corn dog eating contest. She will win on account of her risque picture making people remember that the state of Iowa still exists, because, for a while there, we all forgot about Iowa. I don’t even know what’s in Iowa, or why it’s still a state. Can’t we close Iowa [...]
posted by: jack in Pics
Team Iluminate video is awesome
Team Iluminate, from America’s Got Talent, might be one of the coolest acts I’ve seen all year. They’re so much cooler then the Mr. Splash guy, who is a no talent idiot who does nothing but jump off a small cliff into a baby pool that’s sitting on top of grandma’s old mattresses. Takes no [...]
posted by: jack in Videos
Gus the dog brings the pool inside
Gus the dog brings the pool inside because he doesn’t want it to get rained on or used by racoons. I wish the door was open more and the dog got to swim inside. Makes me wonder though, why haven’t dogs evolved and learned how to finally open doors? It makes me think that the [...]
posted by: jack in Videos
Why am I so turned on right now
Can you guess who this is? Yes, its the fatter more Asian you, without the creepy dogs and weird arms and legs. Strength and beauty are the goals you want to accomplish with this weird workout video, so get your dog, your dogs friends, and open your legs. Then up, squeeeeze and down. Up, squeeze, [...]
posted by: jack in Videos
Gay dude + horny dogs = can’t wait to sign up!
Herrmerrrnn’s School of French Kissing for Dogs just opened. They’re taking applications. We’re talking about real dogs, not the girls you see offering bj’s under the subway station for $8 and a bite of your cornbread sandwich. How many of you are about to enroll your pooch in the best school for dogs ever? I [...]
posted by: jack in Videos
Colts number one fan!
Colts #1 fan! Cheerleader tryouts didn’t go as planned. Peyton Manning has his hands under a new center. Weighing in at 350 pounds, Jenny “The Chin” Wiggler. Think she would win a hot dog eating contest? Wonder what her groin smells like? Yeah you do! Hot or not?
posted by: jack in Pics