Sometimes you just have to stand there and take it like a girl. A big, dumb, idiot, brainless, girl. I'm sorry, did that offend the smart girls out there? My bad - it's just that the girl in the dirt bike video is probably the biggest moron I've seen all month, and that's a full 20 days up to this

Thank you Discovery Channel for helping me discover the cure to my ugly, slow, outbreak ridiculed, 30 less brain cells then average, dumb as a brick life. Now with Energy Blaster 3000, I can cure everything that’s wrong with me. In fact, I even cured homelessness on a bum down at the boulevard last night. [...]

Some clever dudes figured out what density is and how to apply the science of density to whiskey and water. They then took it to another level and made a bar trick video in which water and whiskey are poured into their own shot glass, then the water and whiskey switch places. You can’t use [...]

Dummy tries to jump his car through the toll booth on the highway. It’s a lot easier to get EZ PASS because then you don’t have to stop and give some dude in rubber gloves your money, where you risk getting stuck behind the ONE SINGLE A-HOLE asking for directions, then not understanding, then asking [...]

Don’t act surprised to hear that a ditzy blond woman drove a Bentley into a Ferrari, Aston Martin, Porsche, and a Mercedes. Obviously she had to do her makeup – look at all the people here, she can’t possibly go without eye liner for five minutes. Are you crazy? NO EYELINER FOR FIVE MINUTES IS [...]

Miranda wasn’t that good at playing Madden 2012. In fact, she was downright awful. But Miranda, my friends Mom, challenged us to a round, and if she won, we had to buy her a case of Budweiser. If we won, she bought us beer for the strip club that’s BYOB and she dropped us off. [...]

Jimmy Kimmel hosted the roast of Pam Anderson. Every five minutes I was reminded about how Tommy Lee’s cocknballs resembled an elephant trunk, Courtney Love is a violent drug abused crackhead whore, Andy Dick likes dick, Bea Arthur has a penis, and Lisa Lampanelli is probably the fattest, ugliest, least funny girl who sounds like [...]

Anyone see the old MTV Cribs with Fat Joe and his homosexual sneaker collection? How about the Ferarri he doesn’t drive? What about the gay Terror Squad in the background trying to look tough? Hey Fag Fat Joe, how much dick did those boner touchers suck to stand in your episode of Cribs? Why do [...]