If you want to get punched in the face, then dress up as a snowman, hang out on the WildWood Boardwalk, and wait for some heavy metal Dad to bring his suckerfaced kid up to your snowman costume, then scare them, then brace your face for the impact of a roundhouse punch. First – what [...]

You know how I know you don’t ever get laid, even though you have a rocking bed? You still yell “hi mom” in your YouTube videos, which means you’re living at home in your parents guest room or the bedroom you grew up in, and you’re 30 years old. There is no way the guy [...]

First of all, I don’t even watch Dancing with the Stars. I saw it once for about two minutes and decided that the show was stupid, it sucked, and it had absolute no point. Just like Rosie O’donnell on a diet – it’s completely pointless. Second of all, my first of all statement is true. [...]

Check out this awesome picture of a shark swimming in the streets of Puerto Rico. Hurricane Irene swept the poor little shark into those damn dirty streets, and now we have to rescue the shark! Maybe he can eat some of the homeless people or fat girls to help Puerto Rico with it’s problems. On [...]

Gnarly Bro!!! Now we get to watch Hurricane Irene live in Ocean City, New Jersey, even though everyone was evacuated from the Jersey Shore. When you click the surf picture of a guy riding rocky waves prior to Hurricane Irene’s main arrival, you’ll be taken to Heritage Surf Shop’s live wave cam. The live camera [...]

Video clip of Hurricane Irene in the Bahamas. It looks windy and rainy, but doesn’t look scary. What’s scary is the thought of fat Rosie O’donnell naked (epic projectile vomit). I heard she ate some Krispy Kreme donuts and got off the couch, which is what caused the earthquake in Virginia this week. Hurricane Irene [...]

What happens on the streets, stays on the streets. You know how I can tell these guys are white – they can’t fight. Then again, you ever see a black guy fight? It looks the same except with no guitar. If you’re not a trained fighter, which I am (with words), then you will always [...]

Hello there. My name is Mr. Bigglesworth. I like to go to concerts, parties, and long walks on the beach. I like the long walks on the beach the best because I don’t have to wear a shirt. But that does not matter, because I don’t have to wear a shirt anywhere if I don’t [...]

Forget your fishing boots and boats. Forget your rod. Forget your hooks and your cooler of beer and the one friend who came to your fishing trip because your other friend canceled at the last second. Forget that all and go buy a helicopter, because today we’re going extreme helicopter fishing. Watch this man grab [...]

Hi we are loser guidos and we’re stuck in a tornado. I haven’t ever wanted people to shut the f*ck up so bad. a car to flip over as fast as possible. fake tan losers to kill themselves. the rapper Twista to shoot someone in real life. people to choke on tanning spray. light themselves [...]

[nggallery id=10] It’s Friday and I’m about to head to the Jersey Shore. I’m not going to Seaside Heights where the Jersey Shore cast hangs out, but rather a much cleaner and guido free part of New Jersey. I’ll be at *** **** **** checking out girls who are actually attractive, unlike Deena Cortese. Deena [...]

If anyone wants to shave my jersey number into their crotch, back, or chest hair, then please shave TF into your hair and send me the pictures!!

How many turtlenecks can you buy at J.C. Penny before the sale ends? My dick hurts from laughing so hard, not because I’m wearing a turtle neck. Ten bucks says they’re all wearing Z Cavaricci’s on the way to a skating party. Looks like she’s in the middle of a sticky situation. Then again, maybe [...]

Entertaining dingbats from Jersey Shore meets boner touchery concept of Twilight in a funny remix. “We made you a pickle cake.” Awesome.