Mom always said to have manners and be kind. But how do you do that when you’re a hippo? By spraying your doo doo butter everywhere with your tiny little tail? I always wondered what purpose that stubby tail existed for, and now I know what it is. Hippos have permanent toilet paper tails attached to their body.
What would happen if people poo’ed like this? Who is the first person you would stand next to while having a butt explosion?
Here’s my list of ten people I’d explode on:
hippo poop shooter 2.0
- The entire Dallas Cowboys team, because I am an Eagle fan.
- The people who made Halo ODST and Halo Reach, because they’re really good at making games that suck.
- The people who made Call of Duty, because they’re also good at making games that suck.
- Kim Kardashian because she is fat and gross, like Rosie O’donnell, but at least Rosie has talent. She can act. Kim Kardashian can’t even act like she can act.
- My cat, so that I can show it how bad it stinks when it poops in the litter box.
- Miley Cyrus for having a fat butt and not staying in shape.
- Mariah Carey for being annoying and making Eminem write crybaby raps, even though they’re still pretty good.
- The guy behind Human Centipede Two, because Human Centipede sucked enough, that we don’t want more of it.
- Girls who like dogs too much. It’s a pet, you can take it to the kennel. Stop crying.
- Girls who still think it’s 1950 and they can be unemployed. Get a job you lazy woman.
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