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DSA Co-Chair Goes on Fox News, Confirms Every Wild Thing

Well, someone decided to go on national television and basically read a political wish list that sounds like it was written during an all night college dorm...

Wisconsin Dems Want a Ballot Do-Over and a Judge Says Nope

The Wisconsin Democratic Party just got smacked down in court so hard you could hear it in all 72 counties. As USA Journal reported, a judge tossed out a...

Trump Threatens to Play the Waiting Game on AG Pick

President Trump is apparently willing to grab a folding chair and simply wait out two Republican senators who are blocking his Attorney General nominee. As...

Florida GOP Rep Forgot One Form, Now Dems Get a Free Seat

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the political equivalent of forgetting to attach your resume to a job application, except the job is literally representing...

Hot Dog Vendor Says Tractor Supply Banned Him for Liking Trump

Nothing says "land of the free" quite like getting your wiener cart kicked off a parking lot because of your Facebook page. A North Carolina hot dog vendor...

Congress Discovers 60% of Disability Recipients Want Jobs

In a shocking twist that surprises absolutely nobody who has ever dealt with government bureaucracy, the House of Representatives actually passed a bill...

Two Outgoing GOP Senators Block Trump's AG Pick Over a Typo

Nothing says "I'm totally over it" quite like using your final weeks in office to torpedo your own party's nominee because a document wasn't worded to your...

Fauci Pleads the Fifth 112 Times, CNN Says That Was Dumb

Dr. Anthony Fauci walked into a Senate hearing on Wednesday and proceeded to say the exact same sentence over a hundred times like a broken robot who...

Springfield Ohio Braces for ICE After 12,000 Haitians Lose TPS

Well, folks, the legal limbo machine just ran out of quarters. Thousands of Haitian migrants in Springfield, Ohio are now staring down the barrel of...

NYC Mayor Wants Gov't Grocery Stores, Bodega Owners Want War

Nothing says "I believe in the free market" quite like a city government opening its own chain of grocery stores to undercut every mom and pop shop in the...

NYC Mayor Doxxes 960K People, Even Democrats Say Yikes

Nothing says "transparent government" quite like publishing a searchable database containing the names and home addresses of nearly a million people you've...

D.C.'s Golden Horses Get $5M Glow Up After 50 Years

Nothing says "America is back" quite like slapping nearly 24 karat gold leaf onto giant bronze horses that haven't had a proper bath in half a century...

Country Singer Gets Walked Out On, Writes a Manifesto

Country musician Aaron Lee Tasjan just learned that lecturing your audience about politics in Texas might not be the career move you think it is. As The...

ChatGPT Plays Election Prophet, Gives 2028 to JD Vance

Because apparently human pundits weren't wrong enough about elections, we've now outsourced the job to artificial intelligence. A popular YouTube channel...

Iran Shoots Missiles at US Forces, Every One Gets Swatted Down

So Iran decided to launch ballistic missiles at American troops in Jordan on Tuesday evening, and the result was roughly as successful as throwing water...
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